Music Bingo

Why do we sometimes struggle so much with activity ideas when the solutions to our problems are already out there under our nose? All it takes is a little creativity to turn a popular game into its sisterly music version. Here, using the ever popular game of Bingo, numbers are replaced with songs (or you may choose to use song lyrics to make it more difficult). Play a song and have patients identify it by covering up the space on the board. The first to get five squares in a row has Bingo!

Click here to use some Bingo sheets I have already made.

Friday five: singing traditional hymns versus gospel

I loved my experience in hospice. I'm not one that knew much about spiritual music when I went in, but I sure know a lot about it now. In fact, I really love some of the songs my patients enjoyed. One of the biggest challenges in hospice was understanding how to sing in a style that was authentic to the music your patient preferred. Here, I discuss singing in a traditional church style versus singing in a gospel style (which can be difficult to master).

Traditional hymns use a classical, church-singing voice. Everything you see on the sheet music is taken very literally.
1. No note embellishments. Straight-forward melody line. Limited vocal range.
2. Solemn, majestic tempo.
3. Use a very smooth voice, sing notes cleanly and exactly as they are on the page.
4. Play rhythm as it is written.
5. When playing guitar, finger pick or use a straight strum.

There are many different styles of gospel music, so I will speak very generally.
1. Notes can be embellished, repeated, etcetera, etcetera. Do almost whatever you want to make the melody "flashy." Uses a wide vocal range.
2. Songs are animated and enthusiastic!
3. Again, you are free to do almost anything you want with the melody. Add some "whoa's" and "oh yeah's" anywhere you see fit. Repeat, repeat, repeat words from the melody when you can. Many families that listen to gospel even create their own verses that are unique to that family. Learn them or create some of your own. Good opportunity for song-writing, p.s.!
4. Rhythms can be lengthened, shortened, widened, flattened, etcetera, etcetera.
5. Use mostly down-strums on the guitar.

Theses examples are extremes: either very traditional, or very gospel-like. Remember that different religions can be anything in-between. The best thing you can do is listen as your patients sing along. Take clues from them as to how they prefer to hear their spiritual music sung.

Friday Five: Staying age appropriate with older adults

Older adults are not like preschool children, so why do so many people talk to them as such? Bent over, face close, hands clasped, gaping smile, voice raised an octave and, "Evelyn, it's time for music, yay! Would you like music? How about some music!" I wrote the other day that older adults absolutely love when you talk enthusiastically with them. But I'm sure that they do not appreciate anyone talking down at them, trying to get them excited for something as if they are offering them a treat for good behavior.

Below are some tips on staying age appropriate with older adults. Forget the "sweeties" and "honeys," but don't be offended when they turn around and use these words with you.

1) Consider your volume. Of course, we often have to talk a lot louder than normal to compensate for any hearing loss. I have had to work a lot at this because I normally speak softly. However, don't assume right away that you'll need to put so much power into your voice that it vibrates your entire chest. I suggest starting at a normal volume (for me, that is a little louder than I am comfortable with), then take some quick cues from your clients as to how you should adjust it. When you see them squinting, tilting an ear towards you, or furrowing their brow as though they are concentrating a little too hard on what you're saying, take a hint that you may have to speak up a bit. Also, continue to remind yourself to speak consistently at that volume. If they have to ask, "Pardon me?" again and again, they may begin to feel discouraged and frustrated with making conversation.

2) Watch your tone of voice. It was something mom always told us, and I will say it again. Not for the same reason, of course. Watch your tone to make sure it doesn't start creeping up the register. We will talk to babies and dogs in this voice, but it is not okay to talk this way to an individual who has lived long and accomplished much.

3) Let them make choices. A lot of adults in hospice or nursing homes may feel like they have had all their freedom taken from them. They often don't get choices in what they wear, what they eat, etc. Create opportunities to offer them choices. Should we play "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" or "Danny Boy"? Also, if they get up to leave, there is usually not much you can or should do to keep them in session. They are adults, and you can't beg them to stay, or raise your voice, or block them off at the entrance. You can however, offer them an opportunity to join again when they feel like ready.

4) Keep conversation. Show genuine interest in your client. Talk with them on subjects they care about. I wrote a post the other day called Keeping Conversation When It Counts. Use this for topic ideas: family, travel, hobbies, memories, etc.

5) Play preferred music. You've heard this a hundred times, I'm sure. Learn as much as you can about your older adult's choice of music. If you know nothing about your client or group, you can take a smart guess at their music preference. People tend to like the music they listened to in their twenties and early thirties. Take their age, calculate when they were this old, then begin with whatever was popular at that time. Also consider gender, religion, and ethnicity. If it comes down to it, it does not hurt to ask. In fact, they may see you asking as a sign of complete respect.

Keeping conversation when it counts

Some of my happiest music therapy moments come from working with older adults in hospice and intergenerational choir. They absolutely glow when you smile and talk with them enthusiastically. But it can be hard to keep a conversation at times. As I returned each week to see my patient in hospice, it was hard to tell if she remembered who I was or what we've talked about before. I was also hesitant to approach certain topics because I didn't know how to segue from one thing into the next. I found it most helpful to know ahead of time some conversation starters. Here is a list of just a few:

1) Career. What did they do with their life, did they keep more than one job, where did they work, what did they enjoy about it?
2) Hometowns. Where were they born, did they spend much time there, did they live any other places, what was their favorite home, what was their house like, did they have good neighbors?
3) Travel. Where have they traveled, what was their most memorable trip, who did they go with, how long did they stay, what would they suggest someone see if they were going to travel to that place, do they have any stories they could share?
4) Family. Spouse, children, grandchildren, names, ages, their education, their careers, where do they live, how often do they visit, pets?
5) Hobbies. What is your favorite activity, how much time do you get to spend doing this, what would you like to learn, do you share this hobby with anyone else?
6) Current events. Have you heard about (blank), what do you think about that, what do you think we should do about it?
7) Things around the room. Decorations, jewelry, clothes, pictures, personal items.
8) Weather.
9) Religion. Be careful to respect their religion and don't offend. Don't share much of your own beliefs, especially if you disagree with theirs. Do show interest. Where do they go to worship, do they participate in choir, are they involved in any other way?
10) Friends. Where did they meet, what interests do they share, how long have they been friends, do they have kids/grandkids? You can basically ask everything above all over again in relation to their friends.
11) Future. What are they looking forward to doing today, do they have exciting plans in the near future, do they have family visiting soon?
12) Holidays. What are they doing to celebrate, do they have any good memories about that holiday past, what is their favorite holiday, what do they enjoy most about that holiday?
13) Memories. Wedding, birthdays, holidays, major events?
14) Other interests. Music, food, movies, television shows, books, games, sports etc.?